Begin by spending some time in mindful meditation, focusing on your breath. For this practice, follow your breathing in the region of the chest (rather than the nostrils or abdomen). Notice the ribcage enlarging on inhalation and shrinking on exhalation. Feel the ribs in front moving forward as you draw air in, then settling back as you let air out.
After a few breaths focused on the front, direct your attention to the sides of the ribcage. Feel the ribs below your armpits expanding sideways as you inhale, then shrinking centrally as you exhale. This might feel subtle, but with curiosity and patience you will detect it. Once you connect with the sensation, follow it for a few breaths.
Now direct attention to the back of the ribcage. If you are sitting up, you can feel the back expand behind you with each in-breath and contract again with out-breaths; if your back is resting against a surface, you can notice how the pressure increases as you breath in and diminishes as you breath out. Stay with this experience for a few cycles.
Next, gently expand your range of awareness to feel each cycle changing the shape of your entire chest cavity: front, sides, and back. Recall that these changes—this breathing—happen all the time, whether you are attending to them or not.
Remaining connected to your breath, call up a loving image. Imagine yourself embracing an intimate partner, an adored child, or beloved pet. See if you can feel the warmth of love blossoming in the region of your chest, the area we often refer to as the heart. Continue to follow your breathing while cultivating the feeling of affection; you might notice a tender warmth building up, breath-by-breath.
Then, release the focus on the breath but sustain the warm glow of affection. Do the best you can but don’t worry if you struggle a bit. It’s natural to waver as we learn these new ways of relating to Life.
See if you can connect the feelings of affection—however weak or strong—to the body itself. Remember how your body absorbs oxygen and releases carbon dioxide with every breath. Can you feel grateful for this truth, which has enabled your entire existence? Beneath the level of direct awareness, much more is underway: airways moistening, blood moving, cells ferrying the gases of life. This activity is vital to the functioning of every body system, including your brain. It upholds your awareness; it energizes your body and mind. Do your best to connect the tender warmth in heart and chest to a sense of gratitude for your body’s faithful support. If feelings of fear or disappointment around bodily discomforts of dysfunctions arise, acknowledge that they are part of what you feel about your body, and then return to focusing on what is deeper and more long-lasting: the movement of respiration, its rhythmic and reliable airflow.
Now imagine holding your body in sweet, appreciative embrace. It may help to picture it when it was very small, in infancy or early childhood. Can you imagine holding your sensitive, faithful body with love?
As you honor your body for its vital capacity to bring you Life, see if you can sense how your felt human experience is—in return—important to your body. The body that holds consciousness is not an inert mechanism, but a living, breathing partner. Wordless and vigilant, it cares about your wellbeing.
After doing your best to feel some of that support and caring, return your attention to any aspect of your body that isn’t working optimally—one with pain, illness, limitation, or disfigurement. Begin by acknowledging the difficulty while remembering that no matter what is wrong, many bodily processes are working hard to keep you alive. Regard the body region or system that causes pain, worry, frustration, or embarrassment in the same tender way that—moments ago—you regarded whole your body as a beloved. Try embracing the difficulty as you would embrace the beloved in a time of hardship or distress. Even if your beloved were acting cranky and uncooperative, you’d still feel affection. You would tend your loved one in this time of need. Offer the ailing body part the gift of compassion, acceptance, and support.
Once you feel at least a little tenderness toward whatever isn’t working the way you wish, see if you can generate a sense of forgiveness. The body is trying to respond in an appropriate way, even if it’s not performing as you want or need. The body is not ‘out to get you’; despite its limitations, it is working to keep you alive. Consider that it could be confused, or stumbling, or aware of an imbalance in your approach to life that calls for a more centered style. Keep the focus on forgiveness, with perhaps a gentle inquiry, asking if a message might be hidden in this struggle.
Important note: if the issue is a cancer, it may not feel appropriate or safe to forgive the cells that are causing disease. Instead, perhaps you can forgive the immune system that wasn’t able to keep the threat at bay despite its best efforts.
No matter what’s going on, the body does its best to ensure your survival. Watch any body as death nears, and you will see that it holds on to Life as long as it can.
After offering as much gratitude as feels available right now, return to simple mindfulness. Explore the area of chest and heart. Is there a sense of warmth? Or spaciousness? Or fullness? Perhaps you don’t experience this as obvious affection, but that’s OK. Focus on it anyway. Spend a few moments savoring this vital sensation of Life.
When you are ready, begin to move your fingers and toes; begin to pay more attention to your surroundings, and gradually return to a level of alertness appropriate to whatever comes next. If you are in bed, you might just drift off to sleep. If you are taking on a challenging task, you can meet it feeling strong and supported.
At all times, we are supported by our bodies. We can understand our inward bodily sensations as evidence of that support. We can savor them, the way one savors the embrace of a loved one. As we cultivate our ability to connect with the body in this relational, affectionate we, the skill becomes a resource we can call upon. It will empower us when during times of stress and remind us to savor precious moments, which—if we fully embrace our bodies and lives—can be every moment of Life.