This piece was first drafted in 2016, as part of a manuscript I later abandoned. The bookâs idea was to treat the mind-body relationship like an intimate partnership, so both the mental and the bodily could contribute their gifts in an environment of mutual respect, even love.
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As Mindful Biology began to take shape as my spiritual path, I began noticing unhealthy aspects of my relationship with my body. I noticed how often I criticized it, and I began to more often appreciate it. I resolved to replace a punishing attitude with a nourishing one, and to command it less and listen to it more.
In short, I strove to treat my body less like a device and more like a friend. I acknowledged my bodyâs profound intelligence and began to entrust myself to its guidance.
Mindful Biology encourages me to stop resisting the body and start serving it, to stop fearing and start trusting it. It strives toward an ideal: depending on the body for intuition and support, while doing my best to keep it safe amidst the complexities of modern life.
The body did not evolve in technological landscapes; it lacks instincts for roadways and computer systems. But if we want to choose a mate or find a calling, the bodyâwith its timeless wisdomâknows best. As we heal the wounded mind-body relationship and build a trusting bond, we unburden the mind of tasks it performs poorly. The intuitive body can make the big decisions about people to love and values to pursue, while the rational mind can manage the details of designing, scheduling, and strategizing.
The body is the mindâs base of operations. Like a child who explores the world with confidence when she feels secure in parental love, the mind can negotiate adulthood with confidence and purpose when it trusts the bodyâs support. When we recognize our secure base in the body, we feel more at ease in our social networks and less insistent in our desires. For those of us with trauma histories, an improved mind-body relationship helps us calm down, feel less adrift in social situations, and begin resonating with others.
Weâre then well-positioned to repair wounds and rebuild trust. We replace criticism with appreciation, and fear with trust. We cultivate a happier, more egalitarian relationship between mind and body.
Our society teaches us to relate to the body with a lot of commanding but not much listening. To the extent weâre encouraged to monitor bodily wellbeing, we do so the way we glance at gauges on an instrument panel, sometimes relying more on lab results than bodily sensations.
Mindful Biology corrects this imbalance. Sometimes we must direct the body, sometimes we must assess it with technological tools. But very often weâd do well to first listen to it. As we listen, we learn. We discover how the bodyâs deep yearnings differ from the minds superficial ones.
For example, the body feels and knows the difference between healthy meals and junk food. If Iâm honest with myself, I can feel a subtle objection in my body when I pick up a bag of potato chips. As I more deeply value the body as a friend, I notice more heartfelt concern about its health. I thus take more steps to acknowledge and accommodate its needs. I may still eat chips on occasion, but I make sure to also eat salads, drink plenty of water, etc.
In the same way, my body feels the difference between healthy and toxic friendships. It knows what aligns with my deepest values and what does not. I have begun to trust and respond to its messages in ways I never did before.
As the mind-body relationship improves, we realize the body is our best guide to happiness. Immune to cultural messages, the body knows what truly matters. It ignores superficial societal standards and highlights deeper values. As the bodyâs wisdom becomes obvious, our relationship with it inverts: where once we bossed the body around, we now follow its lead. The mind begins serving the body-friend.
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