Somewhere along the way, most of us learned to push back against reality. Despite hearing the clichĂ© throughout our lives, we donât find it easy to âgo with the flowâ. Very often, we resist it.
Resistance begins in the body. To soften it, we can start with a look at our style of listening in the mind-body relationship. We listen to the body when we cannot ignore it, such as when we feel faint from low blood sugar or ready to burst from a full bladder. But often we donât hear the far more numerous subtle bodily signals.
In between are discomforts too strong to ignore but which canât be relieved by a snack or bathroom break; these we tend to push out of mind.
Seldom do we consider the meaning of bodily sensations. Itâs common to feel pain or suffer insomnia and take analgesics or sleeping pills. Itâs less common to heed what they say about our lifestyle. We see these âsymptomsâ as afflictions rather than information.
But itâs obvious that if our back hurts after working, the pain says something about our work habits. If we feel too busy and tense to sleep, then insomnia shines a light on our lifestyle.
Listening to the body means more than feeling its sensations. It also means hearing and heeding its messages.
The mind is in a relationship with the body, and the rules of that relationship are the same as any other. If we ignore what our loved oneâs tell us about their needs, the relationship sours. When we ignore the bodyâs messages and needs, we grow alienated from it.
A pattern of ignoring the body isnât easy to change. For instance, I face a conflict between how much work I do at the computer and how much my neck can tolerate. With depressing regularity, neck pain is the price I pay for uninterrupted hours at my workstation. But even though I understand the connection, I resist taking regular breaks or committing to adequate yoga practice. I often simply power through, working long hours and devoting minimal time to stretching. This means ignoring a lot of warning signals, such as sharp twinges in my neck.
I hear my bodyâs complaints and understand what they imply, yet I resist them even so.
Itâs helpful to look at the reasons.
Priorities: I believe that my writing and other computer work is important. Somehow, that conviction trumps my bodyâs needs. Notice this happens even though Iâm writing about the importance of caring for the body! Letâs face it: when my mind ignores my bodyâs needs while writing about body awareness, itâs being hypocritical.
Habit: My mind is accustomed to working as long is it wants; it doesnât want to change. But the truth is that although a strategy of ignoring my mute but sensitive body worked when I was younger, itâs not workable anymore. And a further truth is that even though ignoring the body seemed workable, it fueled neck problems that eventually ended my career.
Slowly, Iâm learning tricks that help me overcome resistance:
- Be clear about priorities. As much as writing is important to me, taking care of my body is more so. When I feel the familiar twinges that tell me itâs time to stop working, and when I feel tempted to keep going despite them, it helps to explicitly ask myself: which would you rather have: another blog post or a healthy neck?
- Make small changes. Rather than telling myself Iâll change all my bad habits at once, I focus on one at a time. Right now, Iâm concentrating on building in short periods of yoga practice at the beginning and end of every day. This feels like enough to take on for now. After twice-daily yoga feels like part of my routine, Iâll focus on breaking up my screen time. This doesnât mean I donât take breaks now, while rebuilding my yoga practice; it just means Iâm devoting most of my willpower to making yoga a habit.
- Choose your activities wisely. My choice isnât always between work and rest. Sometimes itâs between writing on the computer and recording guided meditations, filming presentations, or listening to audiobooks that inform Mindful Biology. When my neck gets stiff from screen time, I can work in a different way. The mind feels like itâs being productive, and the body feels like itâs being accommodated. Itâs a win-win!
- Stay in touch with the body. Listening must come first. Only after weâve tuned in to the bodyâs messages can we quit resisting them. As often as I remember, I scan my body for areas of pain or tension. I notice pleasurable sensations too. I may even silently tell the body, âIâm listening. I care.â As I become more familiar with your body, I get better at hearing and heeding its messages.
- Be honest. When I choose to ignore your bodyâs signals, I do my best to admit that Iâm doing so. I make the decision conscious rather leaving it in the shadows of unconsciousness. Do I want to sit at the computer until this post is done, despite the pain? If so, then at least clear about what Iâm doing and what price I might end up paying. Becoming aware of our actions is the first step toward improving them. Besides, like all relationships, the one between mind and body thrives on honesty.
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